#FitGirlConfession - I had a binge eating disorder

Nowadays my relationship with food is a healthy one. Sometimes we fight, sometimes we laugh, but we always respect each other! A few years back, this relationship was not healthy at all, it was obsessive. I was so crazy about food, and all it did was make me feel bad about myself. Not a relationship you want to be in for the rest of your life.

#FitGirlConfession

I had a binge eating disorder. There, I said it! I don't think this kind of eating disorder is the most well-known eating disorder out there, but it sure as hell is one. Whenever I felt sad or just bored, I'd gather my favorite food together, sat on the couch (or even in bed) and ate it. All of it. Sometimes at night, I'd snuck out of bed and raid the fridge. Hoping my roomies and later on my boyfriend wouldn't hear me. And when I woke up, I felt so unbelievably guilty. So I wouldn't eat until lunch, to compensate. And most of the time, in the evening it started all over again.

Listen to your body
I am not sure why and how I developed this relationship with food. But when I started seeing a therapist for it, I did understand it better though. My therapist explained to me that I had forgotten how to listen to my body. I misinterpreted the signals it gave me and always answered its questions and needs with food. Now I know that my body is not always telling me that it's hungry. Sometimes it's sleepy, needs affection or is just bored. Now that I know that, I can cope better with my cravings. It has been really, really hard to overcome this, but I am getting there. One step at a time.

Proud of myself
I did a lot of attempts to get to where I am now, had fallbacks, but never gave up! It's still a bit painful for me to share these things about myself. But while writing this down I realize that I am actually really proud of what I have already accomplished. I still think a lot about food, but in a healthy way. And even though I have to drag myself to the gym sometimes, I go there at least three times a week! That's pretty fucking awesome right?

So, no matter what your obstacle or problem might be, I promise you that it feels great to make the first step in the right direction. If you really set your mind to it, you'll get wherever you want to be eventually. I speak from experience!

Tips for a healthy relationship with food

• Eat on fixed times. Often when you develope something like an eating disorder, your mind and your body are out of balance. You need to recognize when you are hungry and when you have had enough. Eating on fixed times every day really helps to reboot your system. After a few weeks your body will naturally tell you what it needs, but you have to listen closely. The answer is not always food!

• Distraction. If you feel a binge coming on, look for distraction. Take a warm bath, go out for a walk or call your best friend and tell her what`s going on. If you still feel hungry after doing that, grab an apple. If that doesn't satisfy you, you're not hungry. There might something else you gotta do. Again, listen to your body.

• Make sure you always carry a snack with you. To prevent you from giving into a binge you should always bring healthy snacks with you. If you feel you are hungry and you have to wait too long for your next meal, the risk is bigger that you'll overeat.

• Plan your meals ahead. If you think wisely about what you are going to eat the next day, you`ll make better food decisions. You'll have plenty of time to prepare healthy meals and snacks. Eating healthy doesn't  mean less tasty. The internet is filled with nice and healthy recipes.  Dive into it and I`m sure you'll amaze yourself and others with your culinary creations.

Make a stance
Being able to reach out on a topic like this to such a strong, positive and supportive community as #FITGIRLCODE, I encourage all the Fit Girls to make a stance and support a cause like this one. By just talking to a friend in need, reaching out to a family member, or sharing your supports online to other people going through this, you could communicate an immense amount of courage to someone, or to thousands.