I received a beautiful email by beautiful Gudrun that immediately caught my eye. She asked me if she could share her story about her eating disorder on #FITGIRLCODE, hoping to help and inspire other women. I felt so honored and said yes immediately! So read her story and share this with women around you that might need to read this.
How my battle begun
13 years ago, a vibrant, happy, playful little girl of only 10 years old went missing and a shy, self-conscious, insecure girl took her place. That little girl was me. I was the biggest sweet tooth in the whole wide world and my parents could make me do anything just to get pancakes or icecream afterwards. Although I always was a slim girl, somehow the persistent thought developed inside my head that I was fat and ugly. I always was a real perfectionist and everything I did, I did it as good as I could, I was nice to everyone, I got good grades, I was good at sports…. But somehow, even that didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel good enough. It began really innocent, eating a little less sweets, eating a little less bread…
Anorexia took over
The perfectionist in me kept screaming “not enough, you’re still fat, ugly and worthless” and at the age of 15, that innocent diet of mine changed into a long journey of eating disorders. Anorexia took over my life. Every single minute of every single day, became a battle in my head against calories. Sleeping became difficult, because the counting never stopped. Going out with friends became impossible, because that felt too dangerous. Eating became a battle, instead of a joy. Food became my enemy. My weight dropped drastically to a dangerously low number and even though my parents felt like something was wrong, I was a real pro at making up stories about how much I ate, throwing away food on my way to school, hiding food in my room… And they believed me. But soon it came to my parents knowledge that I threw away all my food at school and the next day they took me to a doctor, that doctor sent me to a therapist and so on.