Hey, fit grrrrrls. I’m Amy Clover, fitness blogger and champion for using fitness as a means to strengthen both our bodies and our minds. Not sure what that means? Let me tell you ’bout it, stud…
Growing up, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (an anxiety disorder), which made for a nasty mix. I was always über-emotional and also extremely anxious. Because of the stigma around these disorders, however, I never felt like I could talk about it. I knew people would make fun of me, and I just didn’t want that extra stress on my plate. What I didn’t realize was that NOT talking about it caused so much more.
I held all the pain inside for so long that I broke in my early twenties, and was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. When I was released, I committed to changing my life around. I committed to at least TRYING to get happier. I’d just never really tried before. I’d wanted it, but I’d never achieved happiness for longer than a few weeks at a time. I embarked upon a program with my therapist and started brand new medication, and it was a roller coaster for a few years. I’d do great, then I’d fail and it would send me into a tailspin of depression. What changed, however, was that I was committed to getting back up every time I fell.
When I started working out regularly, my whole world opened up. The more consistent I became in the gym, the more focused and effective I became at being able to follow my therapist’s plan. I started feeling stronger and fighting for me in the gym, which led to more resilience and confidence outside as well. I started believing that I could fight and win in my workouts, and realized that everyday life is no different. Now, that’s what I help other people realize. We’ve grown up in this society that tells us that pain isn’t necessary, so if you’re talking about it, you’re probably just weak. Bull, ladies. Bull.
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