Your friends want to hang out - You have to workout - Your mom calls you to check your pulse over the phone because you have missed (and not returned) 12 of her phone calls - Your boss wants you to work late - Your boyfriend wants you to stop working late. I could go on with this forever. The point that I am trying to make is, everybody wants something from you, because well, you're a superwoman and you have been pleasing everyone around you, so they are used to it.
What have you done for me lately?
Lately I have been feeling guilty about just anything, because I want to please everybody around me. And now I realized, I can’t. It’s impossible to please everyone and remain sane and happy at the same time. So here are a few rules I made for myself to make sure I don’t feel guilty anymore.
In the order that you and only you find most important and is most pressing. You can use a calendar to plan your week so you have a clear overview.
- Don’t say ‘yes’ immediately
If someone asks you for a favour, a date, whatever they want from you, tell them you will check your schedule and get back to them in the foreseeable future. This way, you are not cornered, you can think for a minute if you can combine or outsource it if you don’t have time for it. Or you can..
- Just say NO.
No is a word, use it. Nobody will get hurt when you do. And if they do, perhaps they are not the people you need in your life. Set your boundaries, and don't let people cross these boundaries. If you don’t set them, don’t be surprised when people claim you and your time.
Plan ‘me time’
- At least twice a week, plan the evening for you and just you. Whether you watch series, take a bath, work out, read a book, cook a fitgirlcode clean eating recipe or do yoga. This is ‘you time’, time to decompress. Doesn’t that sound great? I plan this twice a week to make sure it at least happens once.
- Lighten up
Following these rules will eliminate some of the reasons you are feeling guilty. But if you really want to be guilt free, you have to do that yourself. Realizing that you are human and these are #firstworldproblems. Try it, it will help you take things more lightly. And a relaxed mind will win from a stressed mind in every battle.
This works for me and although I do not follow all the rules all the time, I try to and it has made my life easier. Everybody is different and you can make excuses for every rule, like: you have a family or you "have to" work late and take care of everybody because, who else will? I would like you to try it because in the end you will be more relaxed, pleasant and efficient. You will be happier and have more energy to run that extra mile. Not because everyone expects it from you, but because you want to. Make yourself a priority!